This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
