The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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