I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
