I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
