can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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