I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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