The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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