I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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