im drinking this country out of the recession.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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