This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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