Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
