Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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