dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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