guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Found the puke drawer
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
