Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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