He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
