chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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