she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
