I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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