We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
