the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
