Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
