I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
