you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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