As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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