Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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