Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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