Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
