Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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