when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just pee around me
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
