Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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