"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
