like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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