69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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