we're chasing vodka with high fives
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
