My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
