did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
