Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize