Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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