Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
