sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
