office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
