U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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