how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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