this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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