I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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