I didn't shave. On purpose
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize