I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
