i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
