I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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