Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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