Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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