At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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