Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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