TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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