I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
