the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
