Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
