You work out of a Hotel?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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