I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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