At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
